Friday, 31 October 2014

Quick Apology

Hey guys,

Sorry to all my followers I havent posted anything this week, as I have been on leave just enjoying some R&R. And if things work out the way I want them to, I may be absent for slightly longer while adjusting to the changes that will be happening in my life. But I promise I will be back soon with a lot more posts.

Have a great weekend,


Wednesday, 22 October 2014

Letter to My Ex. Boyfriends

This post was inspired by MaKupsy (and you should go and check out her blog). She went through each relationship she had, how it affected her, and what she learnt from it. It also showed her the mistakes she made in each, and that's what inspired me to do it. It feels almost like confession, and definitely appeals to Catholic me. And I believe this exercise will help me in moving on once and for all from these relationships.

I am sure the exes I will mention do not read this blog, but if you recognize yourself here, well, its a two way thing. Here it goes...

Ex 1 (aka T). Hi T. You were my first boyfriend. We started dating when I was form 3 and you were upper 6. I had so many of my firsts from you, first kiss, first marriage proposal, first betrayal. Who knew when we started dating how much this relationship would mould my way of thinking on how relationships should be? I certainly didn't. You are a great guy. You were broke, but just did little things to show me you loved me. You are the one that taught me that material things don't matter when you really care for someone, its the little things and actions that count. Most of all, we were friends. We could just hang out without any lovey dovey stuff, and we never ran out of things to talk about. This all ended when you got tired of waiting for me while I was at boarding school, and cheated on me with my cousin's friend. Yes, we got back together and I ended up cheating on you with K because I still wasn't over that incident. I am thankful we are still friends even up to now, since you have a level head on your shoulders, and give good advice.

Ex 2 (aka K). K, oh K. In all truth, I was madly in love with you. I don't even know how I managed to get over you, but thank God I did. You were the guy I lost my virginity to. You were also the guy who didn't stand by me when things went haywire. You were the cause of my trust issues. I never trusted a guy completely after you shattered my heart. Sounds very exaggerated I know, but to a teenager (yes, I was a teenager), it felt like it. But thanks to you, I learnt not to completely trust any guy, and to be careful who I have sex with. So thanks for that. And stop texting me, I am not going to have sex with you ever again. I am now wiser, and its all thanks to you.

Ex 3 (aka K2). We did not have a traditional relationship. I was your sidechick. But, I will include you because we had this situationship for a year and a lot happened that taught me a lot. When we started getting involved, I didn't know I was your sidechick. I thought you had broken up with your girlfriend after her semester in Kenya was over. Yes, I was dumb enough to believe that. When I found out (thanks to good ol' Facebook) that you were still together, I was honestly hurt. I decided that what was sauce for the gander was sauce for the goose, so I started dating another guy. When you found out, after that day trip to Ol Pejeta, all hell broke loose. You actually pulled my hair and threatened to hit me. My friend actually had to threaten you to stop you from ever laying a violent finger on me again. But I have to admit, the sexual side of the relationship was good. You taught me how to be less inhibited and enjoy sex. And you also taught me that no matter how good the sex is, a toxic relationship will always be toxic. And you taught me that toxic relationships block you off from appreciating the good relationships one can potentially have. C'est la vie.

Ex 4 (aka P). You were my token long distance relationship. I really made an effort to communicate with you and try to bridge the distance. Skype, Whatsapp, any social network was used to just help me talk to you. We were great friends, one thing that helped a lot in the earlier part of our separation. But I guess the fact that I didn't give up on taking my dream job, and stay in Zim to bear your babies pissed you off, so you decided to cheat. Long story short, you taught me that long distance relationships require similar effort from both people involved, and one person can't be committed enough for both.

Ex 5 (aka T2). I can write a whole lot about you and the relationship we had. After all, our relationship is the freshest one in my mind. I should have spotted a major red flag when you dumped your current girlfriend and started hitting on me. I just thought, he's a decent guy, but I should have known that's your MO, dump the current for the latest flavor of the month. If you were wealthy, you would have a string of divorced trophy wives behind you. But I was blinded, and at the time had my own issues, and ignored it. The relationship went on for a few months, with red flags popping up a lot. Like when you posted a profile pic of you up close and personal with two girls. When I asked you, you said they were your cousins. I just shut up, which in retrospect was a bad idea. Anyway, it all ended when you broke up with me claiming I was too uptown for you, and how I deserve a guy of my class. I smelt a rat, and called you out on your BS, asking you whether the reason was that you found someone new (remember I knew your MO).  But you denied it, still trying to keep your ''decent guy'' persona intact. It was confirmed when our mutual friend stopped hanging out as much with you, because he wasn't happy with what you did. You taught me to assess a guy's past, and see if it raises red flags before getting into a relationship with him. You also taught me not to get involved witha person just to fill empty gaps in my life.

Thank you all for the lessons. After all, you helped in making me a stronger person who won't settle for BS because I am filling empty gaps in my life, or because I am on the rebound, or because I want to have revenge on someone. You taught me that I have to love myself and know what I want.

Monday, 20 October 2014

Wash Day Saga - Clarifying/Chelating + Protein

OThis wash day was pretty simple and straight forward. But then again, my wash days are now becoming simple and straight forward. I am becoming lazier, and my hair seems to do better with less manipulation and processes.

This wash day, I decided to wash out all my build up, and do a protein treatment to haelp keep my relaxed ends in shape during my transition. I am now 11 months post :) . This is the longest I have gone without a relaxer after hitting puberty (TMI, I know).

Anyhoo, this is how my washday went down.

1. I finger detangled using coconut oil and braided up my hair into 10 sections. I covered with a shower cap overnight and let my hair absorb all the good stuff.

2. I shampooed my scalp with Dark and Lovely Precise After Relaxing conditioning shampoo. Its a neutralizing shampoo for no lye kits, so I thought it should be able to remove mineral buildup from my hair. I also shampooed my hair twice with the shampoo. Even after washing twice, my hair wasn't at the squeaky clean stage. Thank you coconut oil!!!

3. I did my protein treatment using Aphogee 2 minute keratin reconstructor. I left it in for about 5 minutes before rinsing it out. My hair now felt a bit stiff, but not like I had protein overload.

4. After this, I instant conditioned using a moisturising conditioner I ''borrowed'' from my mum. I don't remember the name, but it has good ingredients so I thought it was safe to use. I rinsed it out, and my hair felt strong in a good way.

5. I t-shirt dried for 20 minutes. While my hair was still wettish, I applied my leave in (Shea Miracle Leave In conditioner) and sealed with the baobab oil I also ''borrowed'' from my mother. I had read good things about baobab oil on Black Girl Long Hair and when I saw it in my mom's bathroom, I saw it as a sign :"D (sorry mom).

6. I airdried my hair using African threading, but in the 10 sections I washed in instead of my usual 4. When I took down the threads on Sunday morning, my hair was smoother, curlier and easier to finger detangle. I loved the curls so much that I ended up going to church with a wild curly 'fro.

7. After church I had to put my hair up. I tried to do a proper halo braid, but couldn't make it look neat enough. So I ended up doing accent cornrows in the front for the rest of the week, and I will bun the rest of the hair. This looks more fun than my plain, boring ol' bun.

So, how did your wash day go?

Wednesday, 15 October 2014

Obituary - My Phone

It is with a heavy heart, and tears streaming in my eyes that I announce the death of my phone, the Samsung Galaxy Ace.

I received this phone as an early graduation present from my mother in July 2012. We have been together since then, snapping horrid pictures, journalling my hair journey, tracking my body changes, and flirting with boys. My phone has been there for me when I got dumped, and was playing a large part in my recovery and moving on stage. We went through a lot of apps together, facebook, twitter, whatsapp and more. My phone was the easiest way for me to keep in touch with my BFF in Kenya, and my family.

My phone had been seriously ill over the past 3 months. It had been freezing, slow to load apps, slow to respond but I still loved it despite of these tiny problems. After all, they are what you would expect in a long term relationship like this.

We had our first serious health scare when she flatlined (yes, it was a she, only another female could go through this much with me). She kept starting up over and over again, and I didn't know what to do. I rushed her over to the nearest medical facility to get her resuscitated. It was a very long process to get her up and running again, but I was happy when I saw her come back to life.

But alas, this second lease of life wasn't going to last for too long. A month after the first incident, she flatlined again. I rushed her over to the hospital, hoping against hope that they would work the same miracle again. But this time, all the expertise couldn't save her. She died a peaceful death in my arms on Tuesday the 14th of October 2014.

Our time together was too short, and I really don't know how to get on without you.

The funeral will be held on Saturday the 18th of October 2014, and the memorial service will be announced once arrangements have been made.

Samsung Galaxy Ace is survived by her younger siblings iPad 3 and Samsung GT 1500.

Tuesday, 14 October 2014

Wash Day Saga - Indecisive Wash Day

Have you ever had the kind of wash day when you want to do one style, and end up being too lazy to do it after all? Well, that was me this weekend. I wanted to do a flexi-rod set. Here's what happened

1. On Friday night, I finger detangled and applied ORS Hairepair nourishing conditioner onto my hair. I braided up the hair into 5 box braids, covered with a shower cap and went to bed.

2. I rinsed out the conditioner using cold water (I'm loving summer btw).

3. I cleansed my scalp using Dudu Osun African black soap, and rinsed again with cold water.

4. I applied coconut oil to my hair for an oil rinse and let it sit while I finished up my shower routine.

5. I rinsed out the oil with lukewarm water, did a final rinse with cold water, and wrapped my hair in a t-shirt to absorb excess water.

6. I had taken out my flexirods to do the set. I even watched SimplYounique's tutorial and started setting. But I realised I didn't have the energy for it after doing 2 rods. So I took them down, did the LOC method (L=Shea Miracle leave in, O=coconut oil and C=ORS curls unleashed curl defining creme). Then I did my usual airdrying backup, 4 sections of African threading.

And that was it. Its too hot for me to think of doing anything elaborate so I'm back to my trusty buns. However, I really want to try a halo braid next wash day.

How was your wash day?

My Skin Regimen

So my first non-hair post on this blog...

A little background on me, I suffer from severe acne. I get hormonal acne on my face when its almost shark week. And I have severe scarring on my back from when I had acne in puberty. So I am trying to work on fading my scars, as well as controlling my facial acne breakouts in order to minimise the aftermath.

My daily skin regimen is:

1. Wash face with lukewarm water using African black soap
2. Tone using an aloe based toner
3. Moisturise using a facial moisturiser with a minimum of SPF 15

Since I started the regimen with African black soap, I have been seeing improvement in my skin. The dark marks are fading slowly but surely, and my hormonal breakouts don't last long, and I do not scar from these anymore.

I am thinking of extending my facial regimen to solve my back acne issues. I will shower using only African black soap, and moisturise using something with SPF protection. Hopefully by the end of next year, my skin will have cleared up.

Tuesday, 7 October 2014

Wash Day Saga - Naptural85's 25 minute Detangle + Cowash Method

Wash day this week was a bit better than last week's. I shook off the mood that made me not enjoy doing my hair and I was back in business :)

Since I am sneaking up to 11 months post relaxer (I'm shocked as well), I have a lot more natural hair than relaxed hair, especially with the mini chops I have been doing this year. I think I have chopped off more than 4 inches now, but I digress. Like I was saying before, since I have more natural hair than relaxed hair, I decided to work with natural hair techniques this wash day, and test them out for future use.

I wanted a quick, easy wash day with very little fuss, so I decided to try Naptural85's co-wash routine that should take 25 minutes max. Here's what Happened.

1. I split my hair into two sections, and clipped one section up with a claw clip. Then I finger detangled the section, added coconut oil and continued finger detangling. After that, I added my conditioner (African Pride Dream Kids Detangling, Moisturising Conditioner) and continued finger detangling. After I got all the shed hair out, I clipped up that section. I then repeated all the steps on the other section.

2. This was the painful part. It was raining and we had no hot water. But I had to rinse out the conditioner and cowash. I took down one section, applied the conditioner to my scalp, and massaged to lift the dirt before rinsing under the cold shower :(. I clipped up that section, and did the same to the other section.

3. I t-shirt dried my hair while it was in the 2 sections. When it was just damp, I applied my leave in and sealed with coconut oil before doing African threading to airdry my hair.

4. The next morning, I took down the threading and bunned for church. All in all, an easy laid back wash day

Changes in Blog

Hiya everyone...

I have been feeling that by keeping this blog strictly hair, its becoming boring. I am style challenged, so I can't put up tutorials, I am too lazy to often do reviews, and just talking hair here has become boring. So I'm switching up the blog to make it more appealing. Yes, I will still post about my hair journey and other hair related stuff, but I will also include my thoughts about life in general, my battle against acne, music, clothes, etc. I am not a one dimensional person, and I want the blog to reflect as much of my personality as possible.

So, the blog will get switched up a bit soon.

Have a great day,